Yours truly,
Mr. mangold chukwu.

Eu estou pensando seriamente em mudar de email.. Não dá. Todo dia recebo uns 10 emails vazios, de pessoas que eu nunca ouvi falar. Vazios, sem nada. Uma vez, tentei responder para ver quem era, se era alguém, etc. O email retornou acusando "destinatário inexistente".
Outros clássicos do mangomail são os escritos em japonês. EU NÃO SEI PORQUE ESSES IDIOTAS OPERADORES DE DATABASE MANDAM EMAIL EM JAPONÊS PARA MIM SÓ PORQUE EU TENHO UM @TOKYO.COM!!!! Eu não consigo ler NADAAAA!!!!
Também tem aqueles apocalípticos: todo dia eu recebo um email desesperado falando de uma criança que (não) desapareceu, um vírus novo que (não) saiu, uma corrente de bruxas que, essa sim, (não) dá certo.
Ah, também tem as empresas que querem fazer negócios. Outro dia, uma "prezada amiga", tão prezada que eu não conheço, me mandou um email com uma oferta: que eu mandasse um real para sete endereços diferentes, inclusive o dela, e baseada em uma matemática bituta que envolvia email-carta-sedex-noves-fora, eu ia receber muito dinheiro fácil em menos de um mês! Fantástico, não sei por que não tinha pensado em extelionato antes de fazer faculdade!
Agora essse aqui, ganhou de todos. Eu tinha que dividir com vocês, meu queridos leitores.
Não me perguntem quem é esse cara, como ele veio parar no mangochutney@tokyo.com. Mas ele apareceu. Desesperado. Precisando de minha ajuda.Uma carta extremamente absurda, onde ele pede minha ajuda para movimentar milhões da conta de um cara que já morreu. E o que é mais curioso: olha o nome do cara: Mangold Chukwu. Será que ele é dono da mangold chukwu incorporación, uma empresa que vende blogs paraguaios do Mango Chutney? E ele me escreveu para me testar e na verdade quer comprar meu endereço??
Ou então, por um grande azar do destino, ele, o senhor mangold chukwu, um poderoso homem de negócios obscuros, errou um ponto, uma arroba, uma letra e sem querer acabou mandado para mim um plano detalhadamente perfeito.
Bom, ele não contava com a minha língua. Nem com meu blog.

MR. mangold chukwu.
3/5 RIDER HAGGARD
CLOSE, JO, BORG
SOUTH AFRICA.
Tel:874 - 762864167
Fax:874 - 762864168

(URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL)

(RE: TRANSFER OF ($ 126,000.000.00 USD}
ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX MILLION DOLLARS

Dear sir,

We want to transfer to overseas account($126,000.000.00 USD) One hundred and twenty six million nited States Dollars) from a Prime Bank in Africa, I want to ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing
in God that you will never let me down either now or in future.

I am Mr. mangold chukwu, the Auditor General of one of the prime banks here South Africa, during the course of our auditing,I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this account again, after going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.
The owner of this account is Mr. Gordon G. Scott, a foreigner, and anindustrialist, and he died, since 1993. and no other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Gordon G. Scott until his death was the manager Diamond Safari [pty]. SA.

We will start the first transfer with twenty six million [$26,000.000] upon successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account.

The amount involved is (USD 126 M) One hundred and twenty six million United States Dollars only. I want to first transfer $26,000.000 [Twenty six million United States Dollar] from this money into a safe foreigners account abroad before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here, without valid international foreign passport, but can only be approved to any foreigner with valid international passport or drivers license and foreign a/c because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the a/c Mr. Gordon G. Scott is a foreigner too,and the money can only be approved into a foreign a/c.

However, we will sign a binding agreement, to bind us together. I got your contact address from the Girl who operates my computer, I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business,you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently. Send also your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a binding agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money to any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. Before we fly to your country for withdrawal, sharing and investments.

I need your full co-operation to make this work fine, Because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you, upon your positive response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with instruction of a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this business. I need your strong assurance that you will never, never let me down.

With my influence and the position of the bank official we can transfer this money to any foreigner's reliable account which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending our physical arrival in your country for sharing. The bank official will destroy all documents of transaction immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place and to build confidence you can come immediately to discuss with me face to face after which I will make this remittance in your presence and three of us
will fly to your country at least two days ahead of the money going into the account. I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will use my position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring.
I look forward to your earliest reply through my email address or tele/fax numbers.
Yours truly,
Mr. mangold chukwu.

Eu mereço. Só eu mesmo pra receber uma coisa dessas.
Quer fazer uma transação ilegal? É só falar!